


And So Can I

by EzzyDean



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, angsty angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-05
Updated: 2014-03-05
Packaged: 2018-01-14 14:41:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1270249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EzzyDean/pseuds/EzzyDean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patience isn't one of his strong suits but right now Rin can only watch and wait.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And So Can I

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Heaven Can Wait](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1148792) by [PurrfectCatastrophe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurrfectCatastrophe/pseuds/PurrfectCatastrophe). 



> Kind of a companion piece (of sorts) for Heaven Can Wait.

In all the ways that they were often so eerily similar of course it would be this similarity that broke his heart.  This similarity that, even though he saw it coming, there was nothing Rin could do about it.  He could only stand by and watch as Rei closed in on himself and tore himself apart day by day.

At first it was subtle.  Rin noticed because he was so used to bottling things up himself.  So used to the edge of weariness behind the bright smile.  The slight jitter in otherwise calm expressions.  The lack of patience with simple tasks.  Each time Rei would stumble and his facade would crack a little Rin was waiting for him to crumble completely.

So when Rei suddenly started cursing and crushing his homework spread out on his desk Rin was waiting.  There was still nothing he could do to soothe the other teen, but luckily Nagisa was around to help.

Rin watched as Nagisa took a breath and slid a smile on his face.  How he could genuinely smile even now was a mystery he’d never figure out.

—-

Swim practice, and joint practices in particular, only seemed to serve as a reminder and Rei spent more time sitting near the fence watching the trees than actually swimming.  Even when he did swim, usually only after plenty of prodding and encouragement from Nagisa or Makoto, his style lacked that spark he had finally managed to gain.  His form was as perfect as always but it felt empty.

Everything had lost it’s appeal to him it seemed.  His grades had barely dropped but Nagisa noted one day that Rei rarely seemed to actually be paying attention in class and had completely stopped scolding Nagisa about remembering to do his homework.

The bags under Rei’s eyes grew along with his disinterest in classes and when he started missing days Rin could only sit by and wait.  Watching solemnly as Rei’s world continued to crumble.

—-

There would be moments, Rin noted, when the light would appear in Rei’s eyes again and he felt like his heart could burst with happiness when it did.  But those moments were rare and they almost always ended in a strangled sob hidden behind fingers tightly clasped over his lips.

Rin watched as Rei flipped through something on his phone - old messages or pictures most likely judging by the occasional twitch of his lips.  Then he got to one and froze.  A genuine smile spread across his face for a moment and then it was gone.  Rei pressed his lips tight together and threw his phone away from him and across the bed.  It hit the wall and slid behind the edge with a quiet thump that was muffled by Rei’s whimper of pain as he tried to contain himself.

He dropped his glasses onto his table and covered his mouth, fingers digging into either side of his nose as he took deep shuddering breaths.  Rin sat down and pressed his back to Rei’s.  It was a gesture of solidarity - he had been in similar states too - not that it meant much, but it was the best he could do.

—-

Rei was asleep on the school roof.  It was the first time Rin had really seen him sleeping for weeks and he loathed to wake his boyfriend up.  So he sat in the shade and watched Rei’s cheeks gain some color as he dozed in the warm sunlight.  It was good to see color on his cheeks and the small smile playing on his lips.  It must be a good dream.

Rei started murmuring and Rin scooted towards the edge of where the sunlight met shadow in harsh contrast.  Tears form at the edges of Rei’s eyes as he shakes his head in his sleep and murmurs again.  Rin’s close enough now to hear that it’s his name and see the tears trailing a steady path down his cheeks.

He reaches out to wipe them away but that only seems to cause more to fall even faster so he rocks back on his heels into the shadows again, unsure of what to do.  The door slams open and Nagisa pops through, letting out a sigh of relief upon spotting Rei.  He gently shakes his friend awake and smiles softly when Rei shoots up with an embarrassed noise and scrubs at the tears on his cheeks.

"I just dozed off a bit."

"It’s okay, Rei-chan."

"I just can’t seem to sleep at home but once I get here I can barely keep my eyes open."

"It’s okay, Rei-chan."

"I just don’t know what to do anymore, Nagisa-kun."

"I know, Rei-chan and that’s okay too."

"It’s just not the same with him gone."

Rin watches as Rei finally breaks on that final word and clutches the jacket he had been using as a pillow to his chest as tears freely run down his cheeks.  The black Samezuka jacket is a harsh contrast to Rei’s white school shirt but Rei refuses to wear anything else over his school uniform.  Had insisted on it the moment he spotted the jacket lying abandoned that day.  

Rin couldn’t have picked a more worthy person to have given his jacket a home after he was gone.


End file.
